As I type this OU’s defense just gave up another touchdown to Texas Tech. OU finally had the opportunity to control their own destiny when it comes to being national champions again, but in their first game with this new found status they blow it. Sure they could come back and win the game, but that is highly unlikely. What does that mean? Well, it means we’ve blown it again.

After much yelling at the t.v. I’ve calmed down and am beginning to accept the fact that there’s zero chance for us to win it all this year. Turning off the t.v. and turning on some classical music has done much to lower my blood pressure and bring me back to something of a clear mind. But now, there’s something bigger that is beginning to bother me. Why is it that I have so little control over my emotions when it comes to things of no lasting value?

Sure another National Champions sign would look good at Gaylord Memorial Stadium, but does that really matter when we think about it? Florida won the national championship game last year and no one really cares anymore. That was last year. I think any rational person would recognize the little importance of winning games, and I like to think I’m a rational person, yet I still get entirely too carried away in following my favorite sports teams.

This horrific loss at Tech (like all OU losses) causes me to ask all sorts of question about my own spiritual and emotional life. The first one that often comes up I’ve already alluded to above. Why do my emotions run out of control when my team loses a game? If I was still 16 or 17 I could just chalk it up to my young age, but at 27 that’s no excuse. I’m beginning to think that though I’ve grown older, I haven’t grown in maturity. When I think of the man I’d like to become, I never envision him reacting this way to a football game. Are there deeper issues lying under the surface that I need to deal with?

A second question that has begun to haunt me is closely related to the first. Why is it that I don’t get this upset at the sin in my own life or its effects in other people’s lives? No matter how angry I get, I can’t do anything to make OU football or Dallas Maverick basketball any better. I want to, believe me I want to scream at Stoops to JUST GIVE MURRAY THE BALL, but of course I can’t. What if instead of being so angry at our losing a game what if I were angry at the things that anger God? Perhaps I could make use of that energy and do something about it. Perhaps my anger would drive me to pray more, study harder, and engage God with all that I am, all the time. Perhaps it would lead me to do something about those being exploited and oppressed. Perhaps it would motivate me to put to use the gifts and abilities that God gave me.

But instead, I just throw the remote at the couch and yell.

God, please forgive me and give me the strength to look deep within myself and begin to search for the answers to these very questions. Amen.

For some reason I lay in bed last night thinking about the title of this blog. “MY life, MY thoughts, MY work”. It appears I’m pretty wrapped up in myself. If you just looked to see the title and noticed it doesn’t say that, well you’re too late. I changed it. Sure, the new title conveys the same message, but it doesn’t sound so self-centered.You know what else I was thinking about in bed last night? Curling. Yes that’s right, curling–the game that most Americans didn’t know existed until tuning in the Winter Olympics some late night. Have I ever participated in this game? No. Have I ever watched an actual match? No. Have I seen anything over and above clips on an Olympics recap show? No. So what exactly was I thinking about last night? Well, here’s where the narcissistic tendency comes back into play. I was laying in bed thinking about how I would approach each delivery of the stone and how my approach would probably be superior to other approaches. I figured the key to doing well in this game I’ve never played would be to have sweeping brooms with 3 different levels of ‘grip’. The person furthest from the stone would have the broom with the most bite and then the next player would have one intermediate in bite, and the person closes would have a broom that leaves the ice the smoothest. It’s kind of like sanding something. Start with the lowest grit (most bite) and then move up in grit (and down in bite). What’s so surprising to me is that I don’t even know if you can do that. To tell the truth, I don’t even know if you have 3 sweepers or not. For some reason I thought I had the key to the game. Why did I think that’s the best way to go? I have no idea but I have a feeling it’s because I thought of it.What can I do about these narcissistic tendencies? I’m not sure, but if past experience is any indication, I’m sure I’ll think of the correct thing to do pretty quickly.